8 things that I wish were NEVER invented

As I’m slowly but surely pushing towards the big 4-0, it has occurred to me that there are certain things that have been invented to really irritate me. And I’m positive it must be a ‘getting older’ issue that these things do in fact annoy me.

I’m quite sure that if I ever run into the people who invented these things there’s a high possibility I will take my shoe off and beat them over the head with it.

Now don’t get me wrong, there have been some very handy inventions along the way, since the beginning of time. I’m pretty happy about ‘lighting’ (because I’m terrified of the dark!), thrilled with the ‘outdoor spa’ invention and couldn’t be more pleased that someone had the sense to invent a ‘flushing toilet’ (I’m not so great when we bush camp).

But let’s face it, with every good invention, comes a stack of really annoying ones. Here are the ones that I’m wishing were NEVER EVER invented:

1. Glitter – A friend recently bought to my attention the affliction that is otherwise known as glitter. I mean seriously, this stuff has very little usefulness. Once it finds a way into your house it literally sticks around for years…and years…and years….and more years.

Not so long ago I bought Miss Princess a fairy wand and flower wreath and the sales girl asked if I’d like some “fairy dust” with that? Why not? I thought, having no clue what ‘fairy dust’ might actually be. And then she did it. She dusted the new wreath and wand with glitter. Months later and we still have that glitter hanging around our house.

2. Lego - alright I can hear you all protesting up a storm…but seriously cognitive skill and imaginative development aside, what good comes of a box of Lego? It ends up E.V.E.R.Y.W.H.E.R.E. My vacuum cleaner is quite fond of it, it costs a fortune and those things hurt like nothing else when you step on them trying to tiptoe through your child’s room in the middle of the night.

3. Mosquitoes - I have a theory that God made mozzies around the same time he was super peeved off with Adam and Eve. I hate snakes but understand they get rid of rodents, I’m seriously not fond of spiders but they do serve a purpose with fly-catching, but Mozzies? Why were they made? They have no purpose in life whatsoever other than to suck the blood out of us humans and make us scratch ourselves silly. So I’m blaming Adam and Eve and deciding that mozzies were only designed as payback.

4. Speedos – need I say more? I’ve thankfully been able to get the lifesaver out of Mr Fix-It and move him well past speedo phase. But it took awhile, believe me, it took awhile!

5. Sand – yes i know how sand is made and I get that there must be some reason for it being around making the ocean floor all cushy and soft but is there anything else in the world that can stick to you in so many wrong places? I laughed, oh how I laughed, when we went to Nice and they called their beach, full of rocks, a beach. But I wasn’t laughing once I got comfy in those rocks and found there was no sand sticking to places that should be illegal. Give me a rocky beach any day.

6. Lollies (Candy for my American readers) –  these are on my annoying invention list because I absolutely L.O.V.E lollies, but they really are little tastes of evil. No good can come of eating bites of sugar mixed with who knows what, so I really wish that whoever made the first lolly, just didn’t.

7. Car alarms - has anyone EVER rung the police because a car alarm has gone off….like EVER??

8.  Smoke alarms - oh ok, I get that smoke alarms save lives but let’s not get all technical about the good they can do. They are also little alarms of annoyance. Only two days ago we were woken at 5am to the annoying chirping of a smoke alarm telling us in no uncertain terms that the battery was running flat. So what did we do? Took that battery out. Now how is it going to save us? Speaking of chirping birds, my late Grandad actually had a pestman come around to remove the “bird” in his ceiling (and no he didn’t have dementia), when his smoke alarm went all chirpy on him. Annoying I tell you, VERY annoying.

I’m sure there are plenty more things that never should have been invented? What’s the one that annoys you the most?

Oopsiemumma xo